rabioheab: earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
dilemmemily: one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves
jonpedestrian: my dad tried to grow potatoes in the garden we’re proud of him
the-fandom-queen-of-skaia: shazelblue: what if saliva was just ur taste buds jerking off to attractive food I tried to scroll. I tried so fucking hard.
my sister wanted to pull a good april fools prank and so she got her friends sister who was pregnant to take a pregnancy test. on the morning of april first she sat in the dark at the table and when my mom came in my sister told her that she had met a guy at a party and then she handed her the pregnancy test and my mom cried for ten minutes before my sister finally said april fools
I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts: trapsical: I took a shit in my grandma’s cat’s litterbox when I was like 13 and my whole family was wilding out trying to figure out why the cat took such a huge dump. Then they took her to the vet and we found out she has feline HIV so in a way, I helped her. this story was wild from start to finish My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!
super-wolves: laugh-til-ya-fart: A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.” i’m done with this website
beartier: goinghamilton: justin timberlake should make cereal he could call them justin timberflakes #bringing sexy back to a well-balanced breakfast
dampsandwich: I remember in 1st grade I watched a special on the news about pedophilia and the next day at school my gym teacher grabbed my arm and I went home and told my mom that I was molested
vvorldwideweb: today i heard the sentence “youre not a slut if it was only four inches”